When it's time to take a sabbatical

A friend is considering taking a sabbatical from her job, and is weighing all the considerations: finances, healthcare, job market. She put out a list of questions to a bunch of us, and I wound up writing a little bit about my current, in-progress sabbatical.

Writing this all out, and reading it back, my only thought was: Wow, it sure was time. Never again will I let burnout get me that crispy again.

Here’s what I wrote.

I’m 6 months into my current sabbatical. I’ve taken time off before but not this length.

How did you decide it was the right time to take a sabbatical?

I got clear on two things: I was leaving the job because it was not for me, and we had enough money to take significant time off. I was super burnt out, and thinking about a sabbatical was the only thing that made me feel hopeful and excited. That’s a good indicator it’s time.

What did you do with your time?

During my last 18 months of working, I’d veered far off into corporate droneville and really lost touch with arguably the most important things in life: passion, joy, delight, creativity, spontaneity. I felt like a shell of a person and did not know myself anymore. So my sabbatical theme has been: time to rehydrate! I get to do what I want, the stuff that lights a little spark in me when I think about it, feels warm, that I’m curious about. Maximize that, and minimize the heavy obligations to trudge through that make me want to kick and scream inside.

When you’ve been numbed out for awhile like I was it’s hard to get in touch with what you want again. Doesn’t happen instantly. When faced with something, I often have to take a full, quiet pause to think to myself, “Do I want this? Do I really?” The more time I spend alone and with my thoughts and listening to how I feel, the more info I’m getting from the inner voice about what gets me juiced versus what leaves me cold.

Practically, on a day-to-day basis it means I get to do little things like take the 5-mile walk instead of rush the short 2-mile one because I have to get back to my desk. Make art projects. Read (and sometimes re-read) fiction. Fix up my house. Go out for a leisurely breakfast or lunch on a weekday. Take the Monday 9am yoga class. Bigger things like foster a box of 6 kittens, do a 10-day silent retreat, take vacations to explore and have adventures versus rest and recuperate. I don’t have sabbatical goals per se, but I’m dedicating myself to basically 3 things: relationships (especially spending time with my pre-teen before she doesn’t want to hang with me anymore), fitness, and a new creative practice. (I feel most alive when I’m making stuff.)

For me, this time is more than just a break between jobs, it’s a life change. I’m turning 50 this year, so it’s HALFTIME. There’s a bunch of stuff from the first half of this particular game that I don’t need anymore. So I’ve purged a lot of physical and mental stuff–old goals, task lists, “trophies,” paperwork, mementos from past things, just clutter that doesn’t mean anything anymore. Also tossed out some beliefs, assumptions, guilt, and stories in my head I’ve had for a long time that weren’t serving me anymore. Surprisingly, the answer to “Do I still need this?” is often no. Getting rid of stuff feels amazing. Gotta clear space for whatever’s ahead.